+ Sexist

Male / man / masculine = strong vs. Female / woman / feminine = weak

Examples; girls, boys, lads, ladies, women follow, men lead, women’s role, man's role, little lady, sweetie, honey, darl, adorable, doing something like a girl, being a sissy, wearing trousers in a relationship, knickers in a knot, fiesty, you scrub up nice…boys, men lead, man’s role, man up, grow some balls, boys will be boys…

Instead of: I/They couldn't possibly lead because I/they do the woman's role.
Say: I primilary follow/ I am focusing on following.

Instead of: Oh you know how they are - boys will be boys!
Say: Actually, I don't think that's okay. That makes me uncomfortable/concerned. This seems insensitive to others' saftey and comfort. I'm going to tell someone about this.

Instead of: Oh, all the girls are over there.
Say: They are all over there.

Instead of: Man-up, grow some balls.
Say: I understand that it's overwhelming, but you have been doing an amazing job. If you need a break, I get it, but if you want to let's give it another shot - you can do this!

Instead of: Don't be such a sissy.
Say: I understand that it's scary, but you can do this if you want to.

Instead of: Don't get your knickers in a knot.
Say: I totally understand that is really frustrating and annoying. Take a breath and we can try again.

In the examples we have included terms such as; girls, boys, sweetie, darl et. This is because this language is infantilizing. It can feel patronising and degrades peoples' automony.

We must acknolwedge societal bias; women are caretakers who will compromise, be more aware of how others are feeling, get emotional be "fiesty", be subject to critique on their physical appearance etc. Men don't dance; dancing isn't manly, men don't get uncomfortable or feel unsafe. We are all people who are accountable for ourselves and the impact we have on others, regardless of gender.

Instead of: Wow you look so much better without makeup!
Say: Don't!? It's not your place to comment on the physical appearance of others. If you know them and it's something that maybe has concerned them go for - "your skin is glowing!".

+ Transphobic

Transphobia is not just fear, hatred, disbelief, or mistrust of people who are or are thought to be transgender, it is also against those whose gender expression doesn’t conform to traditional gender roles.

Examples; transexual, tranny, that person doesn’t really look like a man/woman, what is your REAL name, have you had surgery, asking personal questions about their bodies and/or surgeries, were you born a boy/girl, using he or she as a catch-all, using the term "self-identified", "female-bodied" or "male-bodied.", “You look just like a real girl!” or “I never would have guessed you were transgender!”

Instead of: Is that person trans?
Say: Don't. It's not your place to comment or question the physical appearance of others.

Instead of: You look like a boy, what name have you chosen?
Say: Hi, it's really nice to meet you. Would you like to dance? What's your name?

Instead of: Have you met [name] are they a boy or a girl?
Say: Don't. Is this about their comfort? Speak to them directly about what their prounouns are, what their name is.

Instead of: Were you born male/female.
Say: Don't. Does this realy concern you? It's none of your business. You are talking a human being with a vast array of self-expression. Why not get to know their interests?

+ Homophobic

Examples; poof, faggot, dyke, homo, fag, lezza, “this is gay" or “that’s so gay”, fairy, poofta, queer, queer-ish

The following examples are contextual to classes and social dancing.

Instead of: This is gay.
Say: I am frustrated. I am struggling. This is hard. This is unenjoyable.

Instead of: No homo.
Say: I am a bit uncomfortable doing this, but would like to give it a try as long as we can check in throughout the move/shape.

Instead of: They look a bit queer?
Say: Don't. It's not your place to comment or question the physical appearance of others.

+ Ageist

Examples; elderly, frail, spry, sweet, little, feeble, eccentric, senile, frail, dinosaur, you can’t teach old dogs new tricks

These terms are demeaning and diminish the dignity of the person; infantilizes them and making them feel “other” just for being their age.

Humour about aging expressed by an older adult is not wrong, just don’t negatively stereotype aging or have it be at the cost of others’ self-worth.

“Elderspeak” describes a speech style that implicitly questions the competence of older adults. Elderspeak not only represents patronizing language but also a style of speech that has a slower rate, exaggerated intonation, elevated pitch, and simpler vocabulary than normal adult speech.

+ Able-ist

Ableist language is any word or phrase that devalues people who have a disability. Though often inadvertent, ableist language suggests that people with disabilities are abnormal.Examples; lame, dumb, retarded, blind, deaf, idiot, imbecile, nuts, psycho, spaz, “turning a blind eye”, “having a “bipolar” day”, “I’m so OCD!”

People first language emphasizes the person and not the disability. By placing the person first, the disability is no longer a person’s primary, defining characteristic. If specifically know an individual's disability, this is a prefered term.

Instead of: Disabled child/children, the disabled/ handicapped/ crippled/deformed.
Say: She has a disability/children with disabilities.

Instead of: She is mentally ill/disturbed/retarded.
Say: She has a mental health condition/mental illness.

Instead of: He is confined to a wheelchair is wheelchair-bound/ can’t speak.
Say: He uses a wheelchair/mobility device/ communications device.

Instead of: He is developmentally delayed.
Say: He has a developmental delay/physical and developmental disability.

Instead of: This is retarded!
Say: This is difficult or uncomfortable.

Instead of: I'm so OCD.
Say: I am very particular about this/these things.

+ Racist

Preferences in terminology will vary across Australia for individuals, communities, and agencies. These preferences can and will likely change over time as well.

Examples; gyp and gypsy*, negro, negress, slurs for Aboriginal, Indigenous Australians, First Nation Australians and Torres Strait Islander peoples, not acknowleding Indigenous Cultural heritage ie referring to Ayers rock instead of Uluru

Instead of: Ah this music is by that negress.
Say: Ah, this music is by that artist. (It's not necesarry to name someone's ethnicity when discussing them. If you don't remember their name, find other identifers.)

Instead of: They were [race/ethnicity] but they were really nice!”
Say: - They were really nice! Someone's race or ethnicity is entirely irrelevant to the story.

+ Weight-stigma

Weight stigma refers to the discriminatory acts and ideologies towards individuals because of their weight and size. It is a result of weight bias; the negative ideologies associated with obesity and postive ideologies associated with "thin-ness".

These negative things can include; laziness, lack of will power, a lack of moral character, bad hygiene or being unfit.

Instead of: You look like you've lost a lot of weight.
Say: It's not your place to comment on the physical appearance of others. Maybe tell them how great it is to see them, or ask about their day?

Instead of: Wow, you look really different!?
Say: It's not your place to comment on the physical appearance of others.

+ Gender-neutral / inclusive language

Inclusive language is a way of acknowledging and respecting the diversity of bodies, genders, and relationships. People express their gender and sexuality in many different ways. Inclusive language ensures we don’t leave people out of our conversations.

Examples; they/them, she/they, he/they, she/her, he/him, lead, follow, switch, partner, parents

Instead of assuming someone's gender based on their physical appearance, wait for them to offer their pronouns or continue using gender neutal they/them.

Avoid asking people what terms they ‘prefer’. Having a ‘preference’ sounds as if it’s a choice and most people do not feel as if they have a choice - it’s just who they are.

+ Pronouns - what are they and how should I use them?

Pronouns are one way people refer to each other and themselves. Most but not all men (including trans men) use the pronoun ‘he’. Likewise, most but not all women (including trans women) use the pronoun ‘she’. Some people use a gender-neutral pronoun such as ‘they’ (e.g., 'Pip drives their car to work. They don’t like walking because it takes them too long’). Oxford dictionary both also include the singular “they.” Singular use of "they" is in fact gramatically correct and is incluided in the Oxford dictionary.

If you’re unsure what someone’s pronoun is, use they/them until they disclose otherwise. A disclosure can come directly from them, or if they are talking about themselves.

If you need to, you can ask them respectfully, and preferably privately. Use a question like 'Can I ask what pronoun you use?.' Do not ask 'What pronoun do you prefer?' A person’s pronoun and identity are not a preference.

Some people’s pronouns may be context-specific. For example, someone might not use their pronoun in a particular environment or around particular people because they do not feel safe or comfortable to do so.

+ What if I make a mistake?

People may worry that they will offend or be embarrassed if they use the wrong term, name, or pronoun, particularly for trans and gender diverse people.

It’s important to try to use respectful language and if, or when, you make a mistake apologise and move on. Don’t dwell on it and make it about you, press on with the conversation and don’t give up in the future – just keep trying to get it right.

Repeated mistakes indicate a lack of respect, and can be very distressing. If it continues or is deliberate, it could constitute bullying or discrimination which is against our Code of Conduct.